Why I am a slut

Hey,

Happy Friday and welcome back to a new post. Tonight’s post is going to be very different compared to the other types of posts that I usually write, but I want to share this post anyway because 1)this is my blog and 2)this is my place to put out whatever I want too, so that’s exactly what I am doing.

Just a warning for those of you who are younger, I don’t advise that you read this, it’s sexual and probably something that you should not genuinely read. Any hate comments or unnecessary comments will be removed, so don’t waste your time.

Why I am a slut

Definition of slut: A woman who has many casual sexual partners. A woman with low standards of cleanliness.

That’s the dictionary definition of the word, and this is exactly what I am. I am not exactly a woman though so lets change that to girl. I am a girl who has many causal sexual partners and a girl with low standards. It’s true. I am a slut and I haven’t even had sex yet. Okay, so I’m 19 and still haven’t done it, yet I am calling myself a slut, a bit confusing right? You don’t need to have sex to be a slut, you just need to do sexual things.

The excuse behind my behaviour is not a good one, no excuse is a good excuse, but mine is bad, really bad. It shouldn’t be an excuse, I shouldn’t act the way I act, but it is and I do and I honestly don’t think I regret my actions, which makes me sound a lot worse, but in a way, my actions, the things I do have helped me grow. It sounds absurd I know, but it’s true.

After I was sexually assaulted, my self esteem and confidence on a whole disappeared, just vanished. I hated myself, convinced myself that everyone hated me, I was too ugly to be liked, too fat for anyone to pay attention to me. I was just a misfit of a fourteen year old. I knew that and so did everyone else. Even my boyfriend at the time it happened decided I was too messed up and cheated on me before breaking up with me. A lot of messed up things happened and I wont lie most of it was and is my fault, but hey, that’s life isn’t it.

Over the last 3 years, I have had 8 casual sexual partners, technically none of them was my partner as in, I wasn’t in a relationship with any of them and technically only one of them regards me as a friend, the others just see me as a bit of fun (their slut). All eight of them don’t actually care about me, and that’s cool, I don’t expect them too, I am just a back up for when they need/want something and I just wont say no.

I have a reason to why I wont say no, two actually. When I was fourteen I tried saying no, it didn’t work so well, he carried on anyway, so when it comes to other people, I really struggle to say no, I don’t want to let anyone down I want to give them what they want. I also don’t say no for the simple fact I enjoy it. I love the attention and if that makes me a slut for half an hour, so be it.

I know deep down that the way I act is not right, it’s not normal and in fact I should get help, but after I finished seeing a group called CAHMS they made me feel like dirt, made me feel no-one would ever look at me again and if they did they would hate what they would see. My self esteem has always been low, but I feel almost normal when I am doing the things I do.

I know, I do have to change my behaviour, I am working to build myself in less of a destructive way. I am working on being a better person and I am not being a slut anymore, I don’t meet up and do the things I used to do so I am improving.

My words of widsom to you all so you don’t end up like me is

  • Do not send pictures of yourself, it’s not safe and they can be passed around.
  • Having more than one partner is not a good idea, you can catch things which is so not good!
  • Focus on yourself and your self worth before focusing on other people, you’re the most important person in any situation.
  • You CAN say NO! At any point, at any time!

Thank you for reading, I hope I didn’t cause offence or cause any issues. I am sorry if I did, that was not my intention.

I will be back tomorrow with a new post, I am feeling a lot better within myself and the need to blog has returned.

Again, thank you for reading and sorry for any issues caused!

Love,

A x

10 Replies to “Why I am a slut”

  1. I think this is a great post! I don’t think your a slut at all. I lost my virginity when I was 17 now I’m 29. I have had several sexual encounters even a few one night stands. Lol but anyways I enjoy sex. I think the word “slut” is a guys word… Furthermore, I think men are the biggest sluts of all time. You have nothing to worry about. You keep doing you girl!! I enjoyed reading your post!!! XOXO

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so much! I mainly did this post because I get called a slut several times a day so I thought I might as well use it to my advantage 😂 boys are 100% sluts 😉 Thank you so much for reading 💜 xxx

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I loved this post and your brave for putting yourself out there! I don’t think you’re a slut in the slightest, in fact i hate the word, a woman should be able to do what she wants with her body, as long as they are happy doing it and you’re not getting hurt. Remember your worth though, if you want to change you can, just do your best and be happy x

    Liked by 1 person

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