Happy Thursday my loves, today is a very special Thursday, today officially marks the first day of summer and I honestly cannot be happier.
Today today is officially my favourite day of the year and I’m going to explain why. Today is the summer solstice which means it’s the longest day of the year and it is the first day of summer.
Now to anyone else this would probably mean absolutely nothing to them apart from summer is starting. But for me this has a completely different meaning. Yes summer is starting and a lot of you will be going on holiday and enjoying yourself but for me this marks the first day where I felt truly free and comfortable with myself.
As most of you know 5 years ago I was sexually assaulted and I’m not going to go into that in this post because this is a positive post not a negative one, for me about 3 years ago on the day that the summer solstice fell upon I realised something quite important and since then I have always celebrated the summer solstice as a positive vibe day.
It just happened to be on that day that I realised that the incident wasn’t my fault that I couldn’t have done anything differently and that I shouldn’t keep blaming myself for something that I couldn’t change and still can’t change. I also stopped self harming on this day because I realise that he had caused enough damage to my body and I didn’t need to add to the scars although the scars that he had left were mental ones but to me it all kind of tied in together.
Today 3 years ago I realised that I am worth a lot more than I gave myself credit for, I was still able to achieve so many incredible things while battling so many issues and I never let myself be proud of me I always put myself down even after I did something great and it just so happened to being on this day that I decided to start loving myself I started to you congratulate myself more when I achieved one of my goals I started to look in the mirror and liked what I saw without wanting to harm herself because I look disgusting.
Today 3 years ago I put down the pills and stopped overdosing myself on painkillers just to numb myself so I wouldn’t feel the blades and I wouldn’t feel the blood rush I would know myself so I wouldn’t feel that physical pain I was causing myself because I was the suffering so much mental pain.
Today 3 years ago I decided that I was more than more thought it was and ever since then I have celebrated this day and made sure that this day has been nothing but positive for me and I see this day as a reminder oh just how far that I have managed to come on my own.
I’m not saying that my life is easy I mean it’s far from it, but I don’t like to think about all the hurdles I still need to jump over, I like to celebrate the ones that I have jumped over and left in the past. Today is about me loving myself and thanking myself for not giving up, for still pushing on even when times felt too hard.
I won’t lie, today is also my favourite day because it’s just so pretty! Here are a few pictures I took;
Thank you so much for reading I hope you have enjoyed my post if you did be to leave me huge thumbs up and leave me a comment below of your favourite day of the year or if you don’t have one something that you enjoy about summer.
Don’t forget I had collaboration paste with Najida go up last night make sure you head on over and check that out. Another reminder that the pictures above on my own and you do not have permission to use them in any way.
Again thank you so much I will back tomorrow at my normal time of 8pm with a another exciting post I can’t wait to see you all there.
Lots of love,