I wanted to write you a letter for when things get hard me in the future, if I look back on this and realise I made it through one of the hardest years in my life, I will make it through anything. 2017 was full of emotions and I am afraid you managed to get caught up in every one of them. You started the year on a high, you celebrated the new year with your best friend, you dumped your boyfriend because he didn’t deserve you and you were actually smiling. You went to your friends party and you loved every second of it, even though there were people you didn’t like there, go you for being the bigger person and for not letting anyone ruin your night.
February was the highest and lowest month for you, but I’d just like to say, I am so proud of where you are now! You celebrated your eighteenth birthday with the most amazing people in your life, you laughed, you cried, you shouted and you screamed but most importantly, it was a day you’ll remember for life. Everything that day made you so thankful! February wasn’t all joy though, this is the month you were kicked out of school. They let you sit your mock exams and then decided that they didn’t want you anymore. Just a few months away from sitting your AS exams too. You put on a brave face, made out that you were relieved but deep down, you were angry. Really angry.
After that, you felt lost, you had nothing to do, always stuck at home bored out of your mind, your friends didn’t want anything to do with you anymore because it was too much of an effort to see you. You spent months just sleeping or typing up a blog post, you lost sight of your goals and that made you feel even more low.
You had a few extra shifts at work here and their and you enjoyed the time away from home, but then you over reacted and made things hard for you. You were having a really bad day, and things were just getting on top of you, you were spoken too rudely and you hated that, you were made to feel as though you were a liar and with that you broke down, you quit their and then. Biggest mistake you ever made! You got your job back but boy did things get hard for you, constantly watched, any little slip up was a huge bust up. Next time, just take it on the chin and smile politely, you don’t need the aggravation that you had.
Back in the summer you through the best party ever, well everyone thought it was the best apart from one of your so-called best friends, even though they drank all of your drinks and ate most of the food, they didn’t enjoy themselves, like okay hun, why’d you stay then? You made even more memories with the best people and you realised how much you missed them all. You promised to see them again, but that didn’t happen. Not your fault this time.
You had a few hospital appointments and not a single one made any difference to your life. You had a rude jack ass doctor who thought he knew everything about you diagnose you with polycystic ovaries which by the way, you 100% do not have! You don’t have any of the symptoms, he was talking out of his bloody arse.
You lost many friends this year, you realised that they were just out for themselves, or they were just going to keep taking your money. You had a lot of rumours spread about you too, but girl you kept your head high and didn’t fight back, you made sure that you came out on top and when the truth came out, they all got bit on the arse and you loved every moment.
You were so unbelievably happy during some part of the year, you spent time with some family that you never had the chance to see before, you loved every moment and that’s when you decided you wanted to have children, you sat and planned names and you’re pretty much prepared to have one, go you! You were called mum a few times and a few parents gave you a weird look on the school playground but you just did your usual sarcastic smile and they didn’t say anything after that.
You also had to say goodbye to the only person who truly gets your weirdness, and you still miss him now, I promise I won’t let him forget us. He will be back and he will see how well you did without him. I know he is your best friend, the only one you will open up too, you’ll tell him about other boy, you’ll talk about blog and your general boring life, but with him, it doesn’t seem as boring. I’m glad I didn’t let you have feelings for him again, so you should thank me, because you could have ruined that!
I’m going to be honest with you, you weren’t the best in general with boys. I get it, you’re still a virgin, you still have feelings that you aren’t good enough, that no-one will ever like you, but you really handed yourself out on a plate. 6 people you decided to meet, don’t worry I wont tell you what you did because you already know. Just know that I am not angry with you, because it was actually me too, but I am disappointed. You needed to realise that you are worth something, that people will love you without you doing the things you did. I’m sorry that its taken me this long to tell you.
Through all of the ups and downs you stayed true to who you are, you didn’t let the low points destroy you and for that, I need to tell you I am proud of you. Thank you for not giving up on us, I promise I will make 2018 better, you’ll have nothing but smiles I promise.
I love you.
Well lovelies, that is my letter to the 2017 me. Thank you so much for reading, If you enjoyed this post, leave a like and comment one thing you’d love to tell your 2017 self. If you really liked it, don’t forget to share it with your friends and social media.
That’s all for tonight, I have a vlog going up tomorrow on my YouTube so make sure you are following that. I will see you on Monday.